Friday, December 30, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
we said good bye to olivier last night!
and now I am literally all alone in this house!!
brant is gone!
kyle is gone!
jacob is gone!
shae is gone!
I miss my boyz!
but as we spent our last night of this year together! we hit it to the max! we went back to those good ol high school all nighters! but no my poor health is paying for it! I havent slept more than four hours per night the past four days!! ER!! I better not get sick again just right before going home!!! I WILL eat all I want when I am home!!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
life is a fair!!! life can be fair!! life should be fair!! not all the time! but I think it is meant to be fair!! oh…faire…which is pronounced the exact same way means to do or to make!! that’s the one im looking for!!!!!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
catch someone staring at you and are totally okay with it? or perhaps it is you doing the staring and it doesn’t bother you one bit! I guess there are those certain cultural rules that tell us to keep our eyes to ourselves in special situations! but I guess tonight culture was telling me otherwise! there is something about a hip indie rock show that almost asks that you stare at everyone else around you! in french, I calling it “fixing” on others!! so lets all fix on each other! its okay!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
I had a special moment today at work! and I wanted to share it with all but it seemed a bit odd to me and I figured no one would understand! but here goes an attempt to explain!
do you have those days where you feel clean! you feel pure! you feel beautiful! you feel attractive! you feel presentable! you get what I am saying? whether its because of your outward appearance! and or maybe because of your inward appearance! regardless you want people to notice! you want to share it with those you care about! you think about perhaps that one who you wish to see and realize over time that they are the only person you want to see! and then you are off to work, to school, to do the many tasks of everyday and indeed you are seen by many! by strangers, friends and others you meet along the way but that is not enough! but if you are lucky to finally see that one then everything and everyone else just matters less! because that beauty you once felt is amplified and increased by so much more! they make you feel beautiful! whatever you are wearing or whatever it is inside of you does not make up for the feeling you get with that one!
its all sort of weird, huh?
I got to thinking that true beauty is bestowed from on high! its alright to find it in others, in people, in what you wear, in what you say, in what you read, etc. it s less okay to find it in materialistic things, etc but for now I will remember that there is only one true source from which beautiful is bestowed! and that we are all meant to feel that!
I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t think back on our half marathon! I remember looking up the results following the race and I thought to myself, jeeze, we did so well! I compared our time to some friend’s time and I realized that we had paced a couple seconds slower per mile than our friends! like four seconds! but just four seconds made a difference over the course of 13.1 miles! and I as I realize we all ended up at the same place! maybe faster or slower than others! maybe more wore out or less wore out than others! etc! but we all made it to the finish line!
last week brant, olivier and I drove down to dallas to visit family! my family! our family! and I kid you not! all three of us at one point or another on our journey down were pulled over by the cops! can you believe it! we were all let off on warnings! haa! we got them! when I was pulled over, the cop had me follow him to his car and I sat there with him as he pulled up my information! he told me that there were plenty of drivers traveling for the holidays and that we needed to be more careful! he said that a few extra miles per hour would make no difference if we didn’t make it at all! I was speeding like crazy! it was funny because just right before I was calculating in my mind how much more sooner we would arrive home if we went 20 over the speed limit and then BOOM, the popo caught me ridin durty!
anyways! if we are in hurry to get anywhere perhaps rethink about destination rather than increasing our speed! we will get there even if we take an extra four seconds longer! or perhaps days, weeks, months, years! we can make it!
family is eternal!
for some this is the only truth that brings happiness! sadly for others that is not the case!
I always visit home in hope that I can bring something more! something better! and it never turns out that way! I always take more than I can give! I imagine it to be picture perfect and that I can be completely kind, selfless, loving, etc. but I fall short! it’s a hard adjustment not only for me but for all! but thank heavens I know my family is eternal! I have forever to get it right! for now I will rely on their love for me! I love them!
Monday, November 21, 2011
I woke up this morning with the chills!!! I was freezing!!! I had no desire to get out of bed but I thought I should probably try to make it to church!! ward conference! I finally made it up out of bed and we got ready for church! while at church I stole jacobs scard and gloves! I was freezinggg! I couldn’t take it! so I left after our first meeting and came home and slept! I put on so many layers! I even pulled out my gangster hoodie!! this guy here helped me out all day! from fetching me some water, tea, crackers, soup, etc! mom says I have great friends! and she is right! brant just got back from a conference he had in denver! and tesh decided to come home from his adventurous sunday! I better get rid of this flu! I am heading home in less than two days!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
I was taken back to my younger years this evening! we whipped out the super nes but the tables turned a bit…a girl..I repeat…a female cleaned house tonight! I couldn’t get a W out of her! I had some issues controlling my rage but I think it worked out in the end!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
have you ever felt your heart skip a beat? or perhaps give an occasional extra strong beat? no need to alarm!!!!! its okay!! if there is an underlying heart problem..then you might have to worry a bit but if not then it is almost perfectly harmless! people believe that our heart skips a beat when we are excited or when we sneeze or after having worked out while our body is cooling down!! which all of these are pretty awesome moments!!! if this were true I would be dead!!! because of course I do these things all day everrrry day so my heart would just eventually skip too many beats before I had any left!!!!? okay! im pulling your heart!! hehee!!
I just got to thinking tonight! oh the wonder of our little yet grand organ we call a heart! what would we do without it? could we do anything without it? and what about what lies within it!! what is your heart made up of? skipping beats???!!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
when I was younger, I wanted to own a pair of roller speed skates!!!! like bad!! real baddd! I bought a pair of used eddie bauers inline skates from a buddy down the street! I jumped on a hockey team! id go to the roller rink! and I got comfortable with my newly owned used skates! as I began to see that my skates were no much different than speed skates I guess you could say I gave up that dream of owning my own pair! I was happy with what I already had! and I made the most of them!! I would always win the speed race even with my inlines and they would always give me a voucher for a free drink at the concession stand! oh the days!
now I am learning to perfect these classic roller skates! it aint the same story! I still try my best though!!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
scary stories! hot apple cider! camp fire! welch griddle cakes! friends!
brant shared a spooky story last night up the canyon! it took me back to when gracie and I were kids!! innocent and so frightened by this story!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
try roaming around an empty, dark commercial center all alone at 6am!!! it takes courage and bravery! or perhaps just a short bladder!!! but anyway I liked what I heard the other evening..”do something brave and then run like hell”!!!!!!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
do you ever just ask yourself, is this my life? – cler
I often do! and then I continue eating like an animal! carbs! carbs! carbs! we ate some tasty pasta tonight in preparation for our long awaited “sorta” event tomorrow morning! we are running the provo half marathon! can you believe it? I cant! well I take that back! as I close my eyes and clear my mind as I listen to coldplay I can feel it! I guess believing and feeling go hand and hand!! well you guys! wish us luck! we most likely will need it!!!!!
Friday, October 28, 2011
I read in an article this evening that “Marathons damage your heart” there were actually nine other irrational reasons here why one shouldn’t run a marathon! but I got to thinking! what if this first claim was true! then is life a waste for our hearts are being weakened with each passing day!? yah right! I signed up for this plan! I signed up to hurt! I signed up to run through thick and thin! I signed up to run through and well pass the finish line! but sometimes we need a rest! sometimes our heart needs to heal! it is okay to take a time out under the right circumstances! but taking that appropriate rest and or not taking it doesn’t damage our heart! our heart is what keeps the plan in motion! our heart pumps life back into us as we are running the endless present marathons! and it also keeps the life within us while we take a rest from it all!
she got it perfect in this image!!! nothing better could describe how I feel right now!!!!!! what da…….!!!!!!!! how did this happen? jeeze ya guys!!! it was our game!! it was our year!! well, what am I saying! we must and WILL end this tomorrow!!! period!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
I lay myself to sleep about 145ish every night! I know it’s a terrible habit of mine! ya see, I lay down in bed but I don’t actually get to bed for another half hour or so! I have a night lamp right next to my bed and the switch is within arms reach yet I always seem to push my body mind and heart as long as long as they are wiling to go or can no longer go! if I give in and switch the light off then I feel like its over! I guess I just cant get enough of everyday! I fall asleep every night wanting more with each passing day! so..
tonight we had such an incredible dinner party! it was magical! well, the set up that is! and of course the atmosphere! and no question about the people! we had a few brilliant creative minds work on the display and boy can I tell you it took its toll! by 5 pm I was mentally reaching for that lamp switch however we still had a whole lot of work to do! four pies and a radical dinner table display later the guests arrived! some really special people from our paris study abroad program this year! it was so great! I wanted it to last forever! it felt as if we were all in paris once again! enjoying one anothers company time finally arrived for everyone to leave! I refused to turn the lights off! I kept everything lit up until about half an hour ago! and again it is 157am! but as I sat around this evening contemplating whether I should clean up or not I just wanted to restart the whole evening! its hard for me to let go! really hard! to reach up and turn the light switch off! it was the same story in paris! everyday taking the metro back to my apartment I fear that moments might be forgotten or lost in the dark! only to be silly because the following morning we would pick back up from where we left off the night before! making memories is ongoing process! it hasn’t only happened or happens but it is happening! and as I now get ready to make that switch tonight I realized that memories are never forgotten!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
there is an entertaining application on android that teaches you how to draw chinese symbols!! here are some friends from the ward!!! we were inspired and taught last night!! although this link doesn’t really have to do with what was taught last night, it is well worth it to read!!! I promise!