I lay myself to sleep about 145ish every night! I know it’s a terrible habit of mine! ya see, I lay down in bed but I don’t actually get to bed for another half hour or so! I have a night lamp right next to my bed and the switch is within arms reach yet I always seem to push my body mind and heart as long as long as they are wiling to go or can no longer go! if I give in and switch the light off then I feel like its over! I guess I just cant get enough of everyday! I fall asleep every night wanting more with each passing day! so..
tonight we had such an incredible dinner party! it was magical! well, the set up that is! and of course the atmosphere! and no question about the people! we had a few brilliant creative minds work on the display and boy can I tell you it took its toll! by 5 pm I was mentally reaching for that lamp switch however we still had a whole lot of work to do! four pies and a radical dinner table display later the guests arrived! some really special people from our paris study abroad program this year! it was so great! I wanted it to last forever! it felt as if we were all in paris once again! enjoying one anothers company time finally arrived for everyone to leave! I refused to turn the lights off! I kept everything lit up until about half an hour ago! and again it is 157am! but as I sat around this evening contemplating whether I should clean up or not I just wanted to restart the whole evening! its hard for me to let go! really hard! to reach up and turn the light switch off! it was the same story in paris! everyday taking the metro back to my apartment I fear that moments might be forgotten or lost in the dark! only to be silly because the following morning we would pick back up from where we left off the night before! making memories is ongoing process! it hasn’t only happened or happens but it is happening! and as I now get ready to make that switch tonight I realized that memories are never forgotten!