Friday, December 30, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
we said good bye to olivier last night!
and now I am literally all alone in this house!!
brant is gone!
kyle is gone!
jacob is gone!
shae is gone!
I miss my boyz!
but as we spent our last night of this year together! we hit it to the max! we went back to those good ol high school all nighters! but no my poor health is paying for it! I havent slept more than four hours per night the past four days!! ER!! I better not get sick again just right before going home!!! I WILL eat all I want when I am home!!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
life is a fair!!! life can be fair!! life should be fair!! not all the time! but I think it is meant to be fair!! oh…faire…which is pronounced the exact same way means to do or to make!! that’s the one im looking for!!!!!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
catch someone staring at you and are totally okay with it? or perhaps it is you doing the staring and it doesn’t bother you one bit! I guess there are those certain cultural rules that tell us to keep our eyes to ourselves in special situations! but I guess tonight culture was telling me otherwise! there is something about a hip indie rock show that almost asks that you stare at everyone else around you! in french, I calling it “fixing” on others!! so lets all fix on each other! its okay!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
I had a special moment today at work! and I wanted to share it with all but it seemed a bit odd to me and I figured no one would understand! but here goes an attempt to explain!
do you have those days where you feel clean! you feel pure! you feel beautiful! you feel attractive! you feel presentable! you get what I am saying? whether its because of your outward appearance! and or maybe because of your inward appearance! regardless you want people to notice! you want to share it with those you care about! you think about perhaps that one who you wish to see and realize over time that they are the only person you want to see! and then you are off to work, to school, to do the many tasks of everyday and indeed you are seen by many! by strangers, friends and others you meet along the way but that is not enough! but if you are lucky to finally see that one then everything and everyone else just matters less! because that beauty you once felt is amplified and increased by so much more! they make you feel beautiful! whatever you are wearing or whatever it is inside of you does not make up for the feeling you get with that one!
its all sort of weird, huh?
I got to thinking that true beauty is bestowed from on high! its alright to find it in others, in people, in what you wear, in what you say, in what you read, etc. it s less okay to find it in materialistic things, etc but for now I will remember that there is only one true source from which beautiful is bestowed! and that we are all meant to feel that!
I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t think back on our half marathon! I remember looking up the results following the race and I thought to myself, jeeze, we did so well! I compared our time to some friend’s time and I realized that we had paced a couple seconds slower per mile than our friends! like four seconds! but just four seconds made a difference over the course of 13.1 miles! and I as I realize we all ended up at the same place! maybe faster or slower than others! maybe more wore out or less wore out than others! etc! but we all made it to the finish line!
last week brant, olivier and I drove down to dallas to visit family! my family! our family! and I kid you not! all three of us at one point or another on our journey down were pulled over by the cops! can you believe it! we were all let off on warnings! haa! we got them! when I was pulled over, the cop had me follow him to his car and I sat there with him as he pulled up my information! he told me that there were plenty of drivers traveling for the holidays and that we needed to be more careful! he said that a few extra miles per hour would make no difference if we didn’t make it at all! I was speeding like crazy! it was funny because just right before I was calculating in my mind how much more sooner we would arrive home if we went 20 over the speed limit and then BOOM, the popo caught me ridin durty!
anyways! if we are in hurry to get anywhere perhaps rethink about destination rather than increasing our speed! we will get there even if we take an extra four seconds longer! or perhaps days, weeks, months, years! we can make it!
family is eternal!
for some this is the only truth that brings happiness! sadly for others that is not the case!
I always visit home in hope that I can bring something more! something better! and it never turns out that way! I always take more than I can give! I imagine it to be picture perfect and that I can be completely kind, selfless, loving, etc. but I fall short! it’s a hard adjustment not only for me but for all! but thank heavens I know my family is eternal! I have forever to get it right! for now I will rely on their love for me! I love them!